Loneliness

10 letters. 3 syllables. 1 word. But so powerful over us. Loneliness. There it is. The big bad monstrous word that everyone tries to avoid in life. This word causes people to befriend total strangers. It causes people to marry and then quickly get divorced. It causes people to stay in relationships that are toxic. It causes people to go into hiding because they feel like no one wants them. It causes people to doubt their worth. 10 letters, 3 syllables, 1 word can completely change if someone is here one minute and gone the next.

As we are on this path of life..we pick and choose people to fill this void in our lives. We start of with 5-6 people we call immediate family. They are the people who fill this hole of loneliness in our early years. They hug on us and tell us that we matter. They comfort us in bad times and celebrate with us in the joyful times. They push us to be our best and scold us in order to shape us to become more like the person they want us to be. Then we have our siblings. These are the people that will know what it’s like to live in your shoes but now actually be you. They will go through tragedy and heart break with you. They will know secrets about you but won’t say a thing because that's yalls secret now. They will understand you in ways that maybe your parents can’t. They will root for you and stand up for you. They will always have you back even if they don’t agree with you. And you think they will always be your best friend. Then we move into our grade school years. This is where we usually pick and choose who will fill that void of loneliness. We are away from our families most of the day so we have to fill the void of their presence they have give us thus far. We pick and choose these friends not knowing at that exact moment the type of impact they will make in our lives. These friends will experience new memories with you. They will go through school with you, taking on the same challenges with you and realize just how much effort it took you to get where you are. These people are the first people who you will love outside of your family. The first people who’s parents will begin to actually feel like your parents. Then graduation comes and things change. It’s time to go to college and find your own way in life. You get scared because you don’t know if people will like you. You don’t know how to make friends as easily as you did in grade school. And then in the very exact moment that you need it friends begin to come into your life. And you start making new memories with them and so on and so on. See the thing about loneliness is that it’s a cycle if you put your loneliness in people.

People are constantly changing. We grow up. We become different people as we are molding through time. We meet new people and become friends with them. We marry and have children. We have different obligations. We get jobs and we have different interests. The things about people is that people will constantly leave you lonely.

I was talking to a friend the other day and I text her and I told her to be my travel buddy. She then replied that she wants to start a family so she doesn’t know if she will be able to. A very joyous moment for her that I should be ecstatic for, however I was left thinking selfishly. I was left wondering why I have so many friends but I feel so lonely. Why I feel like I have no one to turn to sometimes because they are all out living their lives. I began to think the lie that the devil wants me to believe “you were only useful to them when they needed you. You don’t matter to anyone now”.

Loneliness. This is such a monstrous word because we believe the lie that Satan tells us about it. We believe that loneliness=unwanted. And that isn’t true at all. There are actually 2 reasons that’s not true:

1. We are never actually alone. We may feel like it at times. We may feel like no one cares but in all reality we have a Heavenly Father who is begging us to spend time with us. He sent his son to die for us so that he could have a relationship with us if we so choose.

2. This one is more of a “Hailey Opinion” but I don’t think of loneliness=unwanted. I feel like loneliness=power. I’ve met so many people in my life who have to be with someone constantly. They need another person beside them for them to function. But I’ve also seen people who are perfectly content whether they are surrounded by people or not. The later type of person to me looks to have contentment with who they are. I’m not saying that we should want to be alone all the time, but I am saying we (as in me) need to stop putting our satisfaction in other people and start laying it in God’s hands.

A few weeks ago I went out to eat with two really good friends of mine and I was having such a bad day. I was in my head and let the devil make me believe that no one loved me. I questioned why I went out of my way for people if I never was going to get that in return. I was in the middle of Mi Pueblo crying with two great friends because I believed that I had no one. How ironic is that? My mind is a space that the devil likes to play in and mess up. Maybe you are like that too. And in all honesty the only defense we have against him is God’s word. It’s so powerful and it’s truth. It’s our weapon against the enemy.

I believe that people come into our lives for purposes. Maybe they are there long term. Maybe they are there for only a season. But I have to believe however God works it out is how it is suppose to be. I have so many friends and if you are reading this, I love you. And I am thankful for you. But I am so thankful for a God who never leaves me. Who never thinks I am a burden. Who loves me unconditionally. And who constantly chases after me.

Whoever is out there that believes they aren’t loved and that they aren’t important, I just want to tell you: you’re wrong. I personally know a Father who loves you so much! I’m praying for whoever needed to hear this!

Love,

Hailey