Date Jesus

Yes I know how crazy that sounds. I know some will think: Date Jesus? Is that like not against the Bible or something? That’s not exactly what I am talking about. Ever since I was a little girl I have dreamed of my wedding day just like most women in their life. However, my dream might have looked a little different. I wanted to have a wedding in front of Cinderella’s castle, with a beautiful white ball gown. I would marry a guy who looked just like Prince Eric and he would love my blonde hair and blue eyes. (I have brown hair and brown eyes...it was just a dream) We would get married and ride off in a carriage and we would live...yep you guessed it: Happily Ever After. Over the years my vision has changed. Not only for my wedding (because it cost like $75,000 to get married in Disney and my dad shut that down real quick) but also what I look for in a potential husband. It use to be all about looks and popularity. As I have grown, not only in age but spiritually, my focus has shifted to mainly looks and what other girls would be Jealous of to a guy who:

*Walks with the Lord (not Bible Belt walks, but truly walks and talks)

*Would love God more than me

*Is respectful to his parents

*Great with kids

*Pursues me

*Respects me and my opinions and beliefs

*Is willing to drop everything if God calls him to

*Has a serving heart

I have some other qualities that I would like for my husband (that my youth ministers wife/one of my best friends makes fun of me for) but they are negotiable.

*For those of you who are wondering about the looks, I feel as though God will make the right man look attractive to us.

I had my first “official” boyfriend in sixth grade. He looked nothing like Prince Eric but he was nice and cared for me at break time. (We never really hung out outside of school) As I grew older I hated when people asked me, “what’s your type?” The only answer I could ever think of to say to that was “A good looking Godly guy.” However, I didn’t hold true to the latter part as well as I should have throughout my junior high and high school years. Time passed on, and I “talked” to many guys. (I don’t really understand the talking phase but that’s another conversation for another time) I moved up to high school and a guy who I had majorly been crushing on told me he liked me, but I knew he wasn’t walking with the Lord (and later I find out, neither was I). He was cute though so I continued to talk to him..my feelings would later be crushed to pieces. The first Godly man I would date in my life would be the summer going into my senior year of high school, however I wasn’t where I needed to be in my walk with Christ to be what he needed and we soon broke up. (This is where my salvation story plays apart and if you would like to hear that feel free to ask and I will share it with you) The later part of my high school year I once again crushed on a guy who I knew wasn’t right for me in God’s eyes. But I liked him and God wants us to be happy right? As long as I’m the good influence God won’t mind, right? I was right with God and walking with him and maybe I could change him. Wrong. Not only did I end up getting my feelings hurt once again, I changed who I was for him..and that wasn’t on him, but on me. I moved on to community college and dated a few people through college, nothing serious. As I am apart of a senior college now, I look to fellow classmates and see them in great relationships. I look at my sweet roommate/bestie in an amazing relationship with an incredible Godly guy. (Literally they have a love story people would write movies about). I look at my new found bestie girl who is engaged about to be married this year and her Godly fiancé. I look at my best friend since kindergarten and she is married. I look at my friend from high school and she is married. I begin to play the comparison game and it just isn’t adding up. I’ve never love any man besides my dad and I’m 22..that can’t be normal. I keep coming up short and I don’t understand what I am doing wrong.

I’ll tell you what I am doing wrong. I am comparing my journey to someone else’s journey. I am looking for ways to be in the same boat with my friends. I am constantly pursuing a relationship with a guy. Instead I should be pursuing Jesus with my whole heart. I should be comparing my walk to Jesus so I look more like him. I should be stepping out of the boat and walking on the water with Jesus. I should be dating Jesus. You may be asking what I mean by dating Jesus. Well when people are in a relationship with a boyfriend/girlfriend they make a point to talk to them everyday. You have time set aside for “date nights”. They are the first person they turn to when they need help with a situation. They are the person you call when you’ve had something great or terrible happen to you. That’s what Jesus should be for us, no matter your relationship status. However, specifically for the singles out there, stop worrying about your relationship status. Stop worrying about whether you will ever get married or not. Stop comparing where you are in your journey to the person next to you. (Easier said then done, I know) Seek Jesus with all your heart. I think dating Jesus includes consistent prayer, daily quiet times, and (something new I’m going to start doing) scheduled date nights to seek him. This way you have more than a 15-30 minute Bible study. You are seeking him for 2-3 hours. Whether it be through a mixture of music and reading the word. Praying. Meditating on the word. Whatever “date night” looks like to you/me. I think David is an amazing example in the Bible. Yes he made mistakes (big ones actually) but he was still referred to as a “man after God’s own heart” and I pray God can look at me and say the same.

Lastly, dating Jesus should not stop once you come into a relationship with someone. If you want your relationship to be sturdy, you have to build it on a strong foundation and that is Jesus. A relationship, well a Godly relationship, does not involve 2 people but 3. Jesus doesn’t leave the picture when you find someone else. You add that other person into your relationship with Jesus. You grow together while you are both growing in Christ. My roommate said something that has stuck with me and I want to share it with you..hopefully she won’t mind, but she said (talking about her and her boyfriend) “We didn’t fall in love, we grew in love” I pray for everyone reading this that y’all grow in love with Jesus and that y’all trust him with your future!

Love Always,

Hailey